Wafflehouse, you're my only friend...

[x_wither]

I got an e-mail from Jennie, queen of tights. Sounds like she's loving her internship at the London ballet. Busy, though. I don't think she's got much time to keep everyone updated on stuff so she wanted me to say hi to everyone for her. (You'd think she'd give a social person that job.)

I've lost my wafflehouse girlfriend. This is terrible. I'm gonna have to go find another one now. I'm not sure I can go on like this.

Comments

[x-staffofone.livejournal.com]

Is the waffle there good? I haven't had waffles for a while...

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

The waffles there are pretty much worth auctioning off your firstborn for!

[x-staffofone.livejournal.com]

Search no more, then.

But you are to blame if I suddenly become chubby.

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

Wow, that was fast. And here I thought I'd be wafflehouse girlfriendless forever! Cute girl who likes waffles, what more could I want?

It'll help keep you warm in the winter? I'm sure there are ways to help you work off your syrup...

[x-staffofone.livejournal.com]

Well, you can totally pay my waffles. Kidding.

Yes, warmth please! And yeah, I've realized that living in the mansion implies working out or suffering from being the only one that doesn't look particularly spectacular, so I should be fine.

If not, I can always work my magic, hehe.

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

What made you think you'd be paying for anything oh wafflehouse girlfriend of mine? It just doesn't work that way.

I like to think of it in terms of you work out or when dinosaurs or something show up you're the only one who needs to be carried out by someone else. Also, helps keep you warm.

I am vaguely afraid of that prospect.

[x-penance.livejournal.com]

Should I be jealous now? ;)

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

Like anyone could ever steal me from you. You're the first girl in my heart, you know that.

[x-penance.livejournal.com]

<3

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

I get cyber love. I feel special. And not in the way Doug's probably thinking when he gets cyber love.

[x-staffofone.livejournal.com]

Oh, sweet. In many senses.

Would you belive I'm still dinosaurs and invasions free? I kind of feel like I killed the mood.

You shouldn't...unless I'm aiming at you at the time I cast a spell.

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

Well, you know, it's how it's done.

I'm...everything free. As far as the mansion goes anyway. It got evacuated right after I came back the first time. I got shot at and attacked by a jaguar man but that's it. Those were both outta the country, though.

Let's avoid you aiming spells at me or we're going to have to break up already.

[x-staffofone.livejournal.com]

I love how it's done then.

Then you aren't everything free, man. Haven't got shot, and no jaguar men on my list. All I've got are evil magical parents, and that already got old.

I wouldn't stand losing you!

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

Well, that's how it's done where I'm from anyway. I make no promises about everyone else.

That's a pre-existing condition. You get street cred or something like that for evil magical parents.

See, so we just put the magic away when I'm around and you get to keep your wafflehouse boyfriend and all is well in the world.

[x-scorpion.livejournal.com]

But Kevy, I still have our spatula right here. I' totally the logical choice.

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

First: Calling me Kev earns automatic disqualification.
Second: I had spatula shape on my butt for days.
Third: I might tote around Fred the Doom Cloud sometimes still but I'm not that masochistic.

[x-scorpion.livejournal.com]

How can you reject a love as pure as ours?

And it wasn't THAT bad. You're just a wuss. 'Sides, it's not like I can chase you around when I'm on crutches.

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

Our love isn't pure. It's sugar-saturated. I mean, I know we like our sugar in the South but not that much sugar!

You're violent, there's a difference. And WHY ARE YOU ON CRUTCHES?

[x-scorpion.livejournal.com]

Sugar is pure. Pure like childhood and Christmas and pixies and shiny things.

Because I broke my leg a month ago, or it was broken for me. Why do you think I haven't been beating you up expressing my BOUNDLESS LOVE!

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

Snow is pure. Sugar is all...sticky. Like you. And your syrupy fate you like to hand out.

I was hoping you found a new victim? How'd you get it broken for you? How stationary have you been that I didn't see this at all?

[x-scorpion.livejournal.com]

You know you liked it.

And it was broken by someone who liked to break legs. I haven't exactly advertised it and have generally just been in my room. Unless I had to work or something. You have no idea how much pain sucks when drugs don't work on you.

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

We gotta work on these delusions of yours, Cammie. You'll never get out of your under roo's if you don't learn to see reality for what it is.

You want me to bring you anything? Drain-O or somethin'? Whatever your toxic cocktail of choice is. (That's the other reason you don't get to be my wafflehouse girlfriend, I don't think they'd serve you the dish soap or drain cleaner or whatever.)

[x-scorpion.livejournal.com]

But all screams are screams of pleasure!

I'm running low on anti-freeze and I sort of have a thing right now for borax. Bring me borax, like Lorax from kids' book only deadly and tasty. Very, very tasty.

And you know, that's why I have a flask. No one questions the flask of death.

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

I refute! (I'm pretty sure that's totally the wrong use of that word, but it sounds good and, um, impassioned?)

Borax and anti-freeze. I can do that. I'm still awake, there's a 24 hour grocery store. I could play "Cammie's slaveboy" for twenty minutes or whatever.

Until they think it's booze and you're obviously not 21 so they try to sniff it, think you're suicidal and call the psych hospital to try to get you to agree to the happy love yourself coat.

[x-staffofone.livejournal.com]

The waffles are mine!